I just got back from fall retreat, and even though I should be studying for my midterm and quiz tomorrow, I’ve decided that procrastination isn’t so bad. I probably won’t be thinking this in the morning. 

Retreat made me ridiculously happy this year. I could go on about our speaker, or the worship band, or the ways I saw God working in my friends and the freshmen, or how beautiful Catalina is, or the food, but that would be a super long post, so I’ll just say this - this weekend I realized how much God has changed me over the past year. I am no longer that angry, cynical girl who hated those altar call nights so much that I had to leave the room. At the last fall retreat, I remember completely breaking down and admitting to my probably horrified small group that I hated retreats. I couldn’t stand them. They made me sick. That was the last night, so everyone else was going on about how much God had been speaking to them that weekend. 

Last night I didn’t feel angry. I didn’t have that empty feeling anymore, that feeling I used to get when I looked around the room and wondered why everyone else seemed to be experiencing God but me. I realized that last night was the first retreat-altar-call-prayer-night since the 8th grade when I didn’t want to throw up or run away. So yes, I was pretty thrilled. I thought I had changed, but I wasn’t sure until last night. I can’t wait to see where I’ll be a year from now.